Don’t bemoan the rain, it’s great

Removing humidity and destroying the hopes & dreams of posers are just two (or three) of the reasons to like the rain.

Rain is a natural occurrence on planet Earth, also known as precipitation, as part of the water cycle.

However, self-inflation and a well-convinced personal focus can lead some to bemoan, nay despair at this weatherly event.

‘But how will I partake in the consumption of sustenance?’, they exclaim, worried that without the Expat Essential of eating food and drinking drinks in public places, life will be just horrible.

While the rest of us panic at the thought of these Superstar Party-people remaining trapped indoors and therefore unable to upload new and exciting photos of their Rockstar Lifestyle, there is but a glimmer of goodness remaining when it rains:

Some people gain unlimited pleasure from fireworks and bangers. When ‘big bang go boom’, they feel good. They like bang go boom. They really like bang go boom at anytime in a 24 hour rotation, so there is a risk that at 6am, when you are trying to, you know, sleep, they will be busy making bangs — and booms — outside of your bedroom window.

When it rains, bang won’t go boom.

Some people are, as yet, unschooled in the basic rules of science, physics, and velocity. You and I may be able to logically deduce that a scooter going very fast in either a pedestrian or vehicular setting will, at the least, cause a perturbing inconvenience, and at the most, death of another human being (or yourself). Thus, scooters are a nuisance — not only when being driven by smug Frenchmen and their even smugger wai di girlfriend who clings on to her new catch whilst she catches the last few glimpses of her home country before the visa application is lodged – but also when being driven by angry, toothless people that hate you.

When it rains, scooters are less used, Frenchmen are indoors having unprotected, pre-marital sex with their wai di girlfriends: and you are safer.

You have chosen to live in a very polluted city. Of course, the reasons for this must be plentiful. You know, the lifestyle or something. In any case, every breath you take will either be dusty, or at a new level which you have trained yourself to accomplish: the shallow-breathe. Shallow-breathing is a crucial skill for all — not only because of those pesky PM 2.5 particles that will be inside you forever, but also because the smells and, shall we say, aromas that pervade this city are sometimes alien, confusing and vomit-inducing.

When it rains, the air feels cleaner, stinks are dispersed and we may all enjoy a standard level of respiration.

Of course, you could say that this weather makes public transport and taxi-fighting unbearable, the streets flood, productivity decreases from it’s already-unbelievably-low level and thousands of people will be trying to poke their umbrella-corners into your eyes, but hey, you told all your family and friends that you are ‘loving life in the ‘Hai!’, right? Right?

Expat mood swings


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Categories: Expat Life, Play, Travel


Foreigner in Shanghai


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