The stupidest advert in the history of the World

And the awards goes to… KFC!

I don’t have anything against KFC.

They provide a much needed option for pure and tapped-to-the-vain gluttonic brain-chemical super-pow.

We all know that we need to eat healthily, but even the most in-self-control person will occasionally snap and crave an ultimate dosage of salt, fat and MSG to pleasure their senses.

But the problem is … well, watch this advert.

If they remove the link of you can’t be bothered, just follow the pictures below.

As explained, KFC and it’s ‘food’ are not the problem here.

But don’t try to tell me, and the entire population of China, that KFC is THE HEALTHY OPTION!

Don’t try to sell your product – in any way shape or form – as providing any sort of health benefit or as an actual and reliable, good option to feed our children with.

Why have they done this?

Because McDonalds did it. And being in China, they must have realised that something in China wasn’t being copied. So they copied it, so set the usual tone and degree of complete un-originality back to it’s ridiculous and non-creative level.

(yes, McDonalds ‘healthy’ adverts are also completely ridiculous, but this KFC one just tipped the level of annoyance.)

So let’s review just how stupid this KFC advert really is.



So the premise is that a young girl and her mother – both, of course, with white skin, are hungry, so they go to KFC and order food from a KFC staff member that … of course … has white skin.



Oh, you want chicken? Then you’ve come to the right place. Our chicken is basically living the dream in a chicken warehouse that would make most 5 star hotels look shit.




See? We use science. Our careful and button-pressing use of science ensures that all of the chickens are cleaner than most humans. In fact it’s really a shame to just eat them, such is the obvious brilliant animal husbandry and respect that we have for animals in China.




See their chicken food? The warehouse staff don’t have to touch the food with their hands. They want to touch the food with their hands. When no one else is looking they probably ravenously chow down on the stuff. God it’s delicious.




See this girl? She’s basically on her way to become the next Gold medal winner in some meaningless sport or other at a future Olympics. Something like that stupid air-gun target practice thing that they always win. And they win it through the purity and benevolence of KFC chicken. Mmm hmm.




Good! Keep eating it! Mother of the Year, that’s what my friends say. As well as praising my un-realistically white skin.




Can you see these blue skies and green trees? That means health and vitality. KFC is literally purifying the air with it’s signposts.

Ah KFC. Thank you. Thank you for giving us parents a convenient option for our kids: a full meal that contains both 500% of a child’s daily intake of salt, yet is also so clean and doesn’t come with a super-sugary drink and salty, deep-fried re-constituted former-potato shapes.


As mentioned, KFC is not ‘evil’ or ‘harming our children’.

I am not one of these parents that blames the food industry, or anyone else, for the state of obesity.

It is 100% down to each parent what their child eats.

I have fed my child McDonalds and KFC etc.

But don’t simply believe that people are really stupid enough – even in some countries – that you can legitimately make an advert about the ‘quality’ and ‘hygienic’ nature of what you serve. Having visited branches of KFC in China, I can’t even believe that any one of your customers either truly watches of cares about these adverts. It would maybe be better to divert resources into new products or — get this — actually create food options that both please and delight your customers … and ARE healthy?!

Weird concept.



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Categories: Food, Internet


Foreigner in Shanghai


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2 Comments on “The stupidest advert in the history of the World”

  1. May 12, 2013 at 8:09 pm #

    Must be their response to the whole “Yum brands” contaminated chicken controversy from December, right? And maybe also a slight hedge against the bird flu scare?

    But wow, if KFC can make the air that fresh and blue, I’m buying it!

    • May 13, 2013 at 12:59 pm #

      They are magnificent. Every time you buy a KFC chicken wing; an angel is born.

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