Christmas is here. Bum boobs.

Christmas is here~! ^-^ ~~~

I’ll explain the punctuation later.

Ah yes! The bum boobs. I shall explain that first.


Parents have many a conundrum to deal with. How will I ensure that my children do well in school, yet still follow their true love of a particular sport or art, and therefore can have a career in that sport or art, without being metaphorically chained to a desk in a random company and office, just so that they can not use the many things that you wanted them to learn well in school?

How will I ensure their vitamin intake is correct today?

Am I balancing well between having a close relationship yet still being the disciplinarian?

The range is wide, and it is the latter sentence in which ‘bum boobs’ becomes relevant.

My daughter has discovered the joy of swearing and rude words. Especially incorporating rude words into songs. Or just tacking rude words on to the end of sentences. Bum boobs.

Some parents may crack down on this immediately.

I suppose I should say that ‘the problem is that it is funny’. But it’s not a problem, so far.

It may be a valuable lesson for children to learn that they can say some things (rude songs) in front of some people (their Dad), but not in front of others. Which is not a justification, as none is needed – such is the beauty of parenting! They are our legal property and must be treated as such.

Anyway back to Christmas being here!

Ah wait – first the explanation of the ^-^~~~~

Simple – the first ~ was typed accidentally.

I was then reminded of the times, a decade ago, in which these kind of things were seen while chatting online with Chinese girls.

Girls who would see no problem at all in typing ‘Nice to see you today~~~~~ ^-^’ to me online. Or at least I presume it was ONLY me. Surely they didn’t / don’t have an extensive catalogue of laowai boys that they chat to?

Well, in any case, such days are behind me.

As was said a while ago, simply finding normal people is tricky in Shanghai.

Therefore if you are married, you should probably be grateful that you have found at least one normal person.

So at any time, seasonal or other, it should be remembered that you have done well to find someone who will tolerate even the stupidest parts of your ridiculous personality.

So how should you reward that person at Christmas time?

I would advise you to steer clear of the rip-off Super Menus that expats seem to be steered towards. You know, when expat magazines list over 50 different places that are serving food for 988 or 1088 or 1888 RMB, so that you can ‘do the expat thing’ and have a few ‘Christmas courses’ of food, while you are herded in with very many smug people and their oblivious-to-the-outside-World offspring.

If you are in Shanghai for Christmas then plan a day at home, with no need to endure icy streets and the spitty people whom dwell upon them.

In which case I do have a Christmas tip(!), save your Christmas DVDs. Your small one will doubtlessly spot the new kids Christmas DVDs in your local DVD shop. If you can save these for the 25th (and find some Christmas films you know and love), then you can have a more Christmas-sy day, with scheduled Christmas classic TV, just like at home.

Or you could go to Boracay. But do take those DVDs!



Categories: Expat Life


Foreigner in Shanghai


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