Expat Dad: The new World order

From now on, people should be separated into a hierarchy of power, and those at the top should reign with spoken and unspoken benefits and advantages. Controversial perhaps, but hear me out. At the top should be single parents, then come couple parents, and then last comes those strange people who may or may not really exist – people without kids.


Why am I sure that this will ensure the success of our Earth? Well, I work from home. Therefore, I have newfound admiration for stay at home mothers.


I now realize that the house will more or less never be fully clean unless you use, oh I don’t know, a cleaner, to clean the house full time. Getting the house to a fully clean level is impossible. It’s always clean by my standards, no problem. Yet by actual human standards, it is never clean. A full day can be spent doing odd housework jobs; cleaning here and there, washing clothes, arranging a room – and this can all be magically destroyed in five seconds by a toddler or infant, using only the power of their mind.


Telepathic toddler menace aside; single parents. Single parents have secret, superhuman powers. Until you have a baby and get them up, get them fed, get them in general agreement with what you are trying to achieve for the day and for your life, dress them for indoors, then dress them for outdoors, pack five hundred and three different things into a pushchair – do all this, and then make it – awake – into the town centre to do your day’s shopping, you have no idea how impossible this is.


‘Oh those single mothers, doing nothing all day but hanging around the town centre’ – if I hear anyone say this, I will beat them to death with any one of the five hundred and three things that you need to take out of the house with a small child.




Categories: Expat Life


Foreigner in Shanghai


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