Female Foreign: Politely listening

So I was sitting with a friend, who was also sitting. We were talking. Quite quietly. From the side looms a man. With long hair. And a kind of wavy, faux-soothing voice. So I turn. He tells me that he met me at blah blah blah and he forgot my name because he is not good with names. He asks what my friend’s name is. He shakes both of our hands. Which was weird. He placed his hands knuckles down onto the table. Which was weird.

Then, stroking his hair, he starts telling me about his new Ultimate Frisbee league. Placing the word Ultimate before the word frisbee is something with which, apparently, he sees no irony.

Anyway, you may want to know that his Resplendant Frisbee team finished 12th out of 15 teams in a tournament. You may also want to know that he wants to start a female team. You may be suspicious of the fact that he wants to train some female followers so they think, you know, he is like totally cool because like he is totally like the Frisbee guru. The Ultimate Frisbee Guru of Light and Magic.

I did not want to know these things (but yes I was suspicious of the final cult-type suspicion). Yet he told me. Oh and so much more. And I also got to enjoy him stroking his hair with most things he said. He was a little bit old and a little bit fat.

If you play frisbee for fun (or with your dog, a creature which can also catch frisbees) then I have nothing against you. But if you take a sport, which is not a sport, very, very very seriously, then you may want to question yourself in relation to your intense pursuit of something that most people think is a little bit retarded.

I could also go on to mention that it is rude to talk to one female while her friend sits and also has to listen, silently, to your personal speech on yourself. And that, as you also dropped into the conversation, the fact that you go somewhere in Pudong to buy organic vegetables is not particularly interesting.

After he finished, he returned to his table where a couple of Chinese girls with limited clothing sat around him, posing and giggling and playing with their phones. I must remember to thank all of their kind for encouraging men with long hair to have mis-guided self-confidence.


Categories: Expat Life


Foreigner in Shanghai


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