Female Foreign: Taking the plunge

‘Female Foreign’ is our female, lady, woman, girl, or whatever the accepted term is these days, giving us her angle on reality in the city … or lack thereof:

Taking the plunge. Or rather the descent into madness. Single expat women in Shanghai. It’s a distinct category and, one that we love. There’s a liberating feeling about leaving our homes and being completely independent. Really, independent as the meaning of independent is. Is it different for a woman to leave home and her parents, living single in a foreign country? There are certainly reasons why this might be, yes.

Relationships, sex and our emotional life are way different here, let’s start with that. Why? Expat men. They suddenly fall into a desirable percentage here. Not that they are to be blamed. I mean, it is just true that they are more desirable than they previously were. Imagine if in their usual countries, 95% of the male population were not especially attractive to women, and had the romantic ability of a landmine. If they were in a 5% that were more attractive to women or rather cared about being attractive to women, then maybe they would act the same.

The same as what? How do they act? You know. You know! It can’t only be my friends (it isn’t) that experience how some men here have some form of mental breakdown. Why, let me ask you, why would a man whip out his piece in front of a girl, in her apartment, and start yanking on it? Why – aside a mental breakdown? No other reason. It is just a conclusion of being highly sexually charged all day. If they work in an office, then invariably they will be able to flirt with a good % of their female colleagues. At a bar, most girls there will flutter their eyelashes at them.

This all leads (this and their online hobbies) to them being overly sexed up and to lose their minds. Not that this is a criticism of that. Or the ones doing the flirting. Or anyone or thing.

It just is what it is.

The (maybe) only point to make is that we, the norms, the normals, the sane ones, have to actually deal with this.

And as we know, if we foreign females do not lovingly appreciate and gratefully accept the advances of any expat man, we are being stuck up, right?!

Yeah. Of course we are. It’s not the quality of your advances, or the simple and basic aspect of how you look, it’s that we are – for no reason – stuck up and dislike having sex. Obviously.

Well in any case, dear foreign female friends, we are lucky in some ways. We don’t need to take a husband here. We can just enjoy ourselves and each other (no innuendo intended, if any of the overly sexually charged are reading this). This is why we sympathise with the wonderful local girlfriends that we make – they have the same selection as we do, but instead, they really do, do have a need to have a husband, or so they are told.

But we are not angry. We don’t have a problem with this. It is what it is.


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Categories: Expat Life


Foreigner in Shanghai


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2 Comments on “Female Foreign: Taking the plunge”

  1. Sarah Lather
    August 15, 2012 at 7:18 am #

    Is it really that bad?

    Have been offered a job in Shanghai, and for the first time in my life I am a bit frightened of it. Not it beignet a big and new city, that part is great. But I’ve read so many negative thing about being a female single expat there – signing up for a lonely time?! I can’t believe this is me writing this! Utterly out of character – wish I knew why this time it is bothering me so much!

    • August 15, 2012 at 9:32 am #

      Come on, it’s not so bad! This article is looking at one angle of it. But the fact is that you can choose your own lifestyle in Shanghai. As long as you keep your feet on the ground and stay sane then you will be able to do as you wish. There is a certain ‘expat bubble’ but you can avoid that (or not wholely buy into it) if you want. Just go for it.

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